GEORGETOWN MEDICAL CENTER
After leaving Mulder Dr. Harriman went down the hallway to
find Dr. Scully. It did not take long to spot her in front
of the elevator. He knew that Mulder and Dr. Scully were
good friends and he would need to approach her in such a
way. " Excuse me Dr Scully. Can I have a word with you for a
Scully looked up at the doctor and nodded and followed him
into a private office. He motioned for her to have a seat
and then took a seat himself. " What happened in there Dr.
Scully?" His voice was calm and professional.
She took a few seconds to gather herself and to think about
the answer she was about to give. Not everyone understood
Mulder's ability to get inside of a killer's mind or to make
leaps that nobody else could understand. She sat for a few
minutes thinking then looked up at the doctor, "Mulder is
complicated. He has a knack for getting into the killer's
mind. He has a unique ability for guessing things that are
not said out loud. He is sort of spooky like that during
cases, especially serial murders. Especially cases involving
Dr Harriman sat back to listen. He knew that Mulder was
different, he had heard stories of his patient's profiling
abilities. He was really interested in his partner's
" He has been working a very difficult serial case involving
small children. Small children were being kidnapped and
tortured and killed. Mulder was asked to give the case a
look and to write a profile. His experience in this area was
appreciated by the VCS and his profile was nothing less than
genius and it lead us to the man in the warehouse. We all
thought that the man was the serial killer and that he had
died in the warehouse."
" But he didn't die?" Dr. Harriman asked, confused. He
thought that the man had died in the warehouse.
" Yes. Barter did die but the killings started again soon
after his death. At first we thought there was a copy cat
killer but the likeness and the clues were the same as in
the original cases. The information was never released to
the public. The killer is still alive."
" And Mulder knew this? That the killer is still alive?" Dr
Harriman raised up into the seat and shook his head, " He
has been too ill to be able to comprehend what has been
going on in the news. He can barely tell you what time of
day it is or even what the weather has been like. Are
" Unfortunately, I am certain. Like I said, he has a sixth
sense about these things and he is usually accurate." She
paused a few seconds then continued," He is right. The
killer is still killing. Even without a television or a
newspaper he has figured it out somehow." She shook her head
and stood, "Only Mulder can find this sick bastard and this
worries me because he will jeopardize his health to
accomplish it. He will push himself to a breaking point,
whether it be physically or emotionally or both. He will not
give up on profiling the killer again."
Dr Harriman just stared in disbelief at his patient's
partner. He knew the fear that she must be feeling for her
best friend. Being a doctor she knew that the added stress
could be detrimental to Mulder's health. "Listen, let's give
him some downtime. Maybe he doesn't know as much as you
think he does. Maybe he is guessing to get a reaction out of
you. He is a psychologist and he does know what buttons to
push to get information."
Scully nodded and walked to the door. "Will you have Dr.
Moore talk to him when he is alert enough? He is emotionally
fragile right now and I do not want him to suffer anymore
" Definitely. I am going to be closing up his leg wound soon
but I'd rather not intubate him if I don't have to due to
his recent bout with pneumonia. We'll see how he does in the
next twenty- four hours."
She nodded in agreement and placed her hand on the knob to
exit but turned back towards Mulder's physician. "When he
awakens will you call me. I need to see our boss and fill
him in on Mulder but I will be on my cell phone, my number
is at the nurses' desk."
He stood and walked over to the door and placed a hand on
Scully's shoulder, " Absolutely, I will leave orders with
the nurse for you to be notified and that he can have
visitors tomorrow. I am going to keep him sedated today and
tonight and have Dr. Moore to see him first thing in the
morning." He thought for a second and added," I've seen him
in worse condition and he has pulled through with flying
colors. He is Mulder."
" Yeah he is definitely Mulder." She smiled, turned and left
to see Skinner.
Dr Harriman picked up the chart and headed back to see
Mulder. It was going to be a long twenty four hours. He knew
Mulder and he knew that if he wasn't fighting his sedation
that soon he would be, because that was Mulder.
ICU/ MULDER'S CUBICLE
The familiar voice was speaking to him again and it was
taunting him with words that could not be forgotten, " Fox
you are a cripple, you are pathetic. How will you help the
little children now? You are worthless and they will
continue to die." And then he heard the small children
crying out for help. And this time he could hear his
sister's voice, it was Samantha and she was starting to cry.
She cried out for her brother to save the children from the
killer. The little children would die if he did not save
them from the bad man. He knew that Sam would have died a
terrible death if it had not been for the 'Walk Ins'. He
could not save her and now he could not save the children
from the serial killer. He started to cry because he could
not move. He could not reach out and help the small voices.
They would have to die. The man's voice was getting louder
and the small voices became weaker and soon they were gone.
The only voice that remained was the killer and he was
laughing. " I am the winner and you, Fox Mulder, special
profiler for the Federal Bureau of investigation are a loser
and a cripple. He began to cry louder but not for himself
but for the little children who had to die.
A voice above him was starting to call his name and a
soothing hand was on his forehead. It had to be Scully, she
was his best friend and she would save him from the bad
dream. Within a few seconds he was able to drag open his
heavy eyelids and try to focus on the person above him. When
he was able to focus he recognized his nurse and she was
stroking his face with a cool wash cloth. She was cooing
soothing words and trying to give him comfort.
Rachel noticed that her troubled patient was awake now. She
had been concerned when he was crying in his sleep and that
he seemed unable to come out of the drugged haze. His eyes
were glassy and he seemed a bit disoriented. They had given
him a large dose of Thorazine when he was having difficulty.
Drool still continued to dribble down his chin, which was
probably a combination of the drugs and the stroke. She
could tell that he was having trouble focusing his eyes and
she felt that she needed to give him some assurance that she
was there with him, "Hey Mulder." She whispered, trying not
to startle him with loud words. He had nearly slept for
twelve hours but had been very restless for the past two
hours. He had been reaching out with his good arm and
grabbing at thin air. She had called Dr. Harriman and was
given an order to hold the Thorazine due to a possible
reaction. He wanted to get a better assessment of Mulder so
he would allow his patient to come up from the drugged haze.
She knew that he was having some very bad dreams and that he
had had some bad ones before. She knew that he did not want
to be alone. He had told her that they were really bad
dreams. As she continued to soothe her patient she talked
quietly " Hang in there Mulder. I'm not going to leave you,
I'm right here."
He felt weird, the drugs still were strong and they had a
strong grip on him. He felt them pulling him back down into
the world of nightmares but that place was too dark and
scary for the any adult, even an FBI profiler like
himself. He moaned softly, hoping to get the attention of
his nurse. He wanted to be turned and elevated. He was
uncomfortable and he could feel the uncomfortable restraints
around his wrists. His voice seemed to be lost or at least
on vacation. The nurse responded to his sounds by calling
out for assistance. He was understood and he was relieved,
his discomfort no longer could be hidden. He squirmed
underneath the blanket, mostly caused by his nervousness and
his anger at his best friend. Soon the room was
filled with voices and he allowed them to turn and
reposition him in the bed. They were taking great care with
his tubes and IV's, careful not to pull anything out.
Suddenly he was hit with a wave of nausea from the movement.
The vomiting started soon after and he felt himself being
rolled over to his side and a cold plastic dish being shoved
underneath his chin. As he continued to retch the tube
feeding that had been infusing in through his G tube in his
stomach came out. The nasogastric tube that still remained
in his right nostril was turned on and the tube feeding was
He could hear the page for his physician being called out
over the hospital intercom but he could not respond due to
his lethargy from the drugs. The nurse began yelling
something about his airway and again he was being rolled
over and his head was being manipulated back. Someone was
placing something over his face and the smell of the plastic
and forced air made him want to retch some more. This was
getting a little much and now a familiar voice was standing
over him saying something but due to the drugs he could not
make out who it was or what they were saying.
Within seconds he could feel someone opening his mouth and
it felt familiar. 'What the Hell?', he asked himself as he
felt a firm hand adjusting his jaw. Then realization hit,
they were going to place the dreaded tube back down his
throat again and he could do no more than to allow them to
proceed with their plan. He was too weak to fight and the
drugs still gripped his mind and his voice.
The soothing voice was back and she was stroking his face
and was giving comforting words, "It's okay Mulder, we need
to get you breathing a little better. Just try to relax, I
know it's hard."
Mulder focused on the kind and gentle voice but he was also
feeling the tube invade his throat as someone held his mouth
open. He felt the tube as it traveled down his throat and
his thoughts were to fight the person inflicting the pain
but he was too weak. He had to allow the torment to
continue. A few minutes later he felt the taping of the tube
around his face and the familiar sound of a ventilator and
the forced breaths into his lungs. He also felt a burning in
his veins, the familiar effect that intravenous Phenergan
gives when injected too fast and undiluted. The nausea had
started to improve and he could feel himself relax with the
drugs that were being fed into his IV.
The torture continued and a few minutes later his world was
filled with the feel of tape as it attached itself to his
sensitive skin and the sound of the ventilator as it gave
him breathes. He felt the pull of strong drugs as they made
their way into his system. He could feel the restraints
being secured and tested to make sure he could not remove
their hard work, apologizing all the time as they were
inflicting the intrusions to his body. He decided to allow
the drugs to take over and sleep; he was too tired to do
anything else. The nausea was improving, the medicine was
working and within minutes he was sleeping the drugged sleep
and moving back towards his den of nightmares.
Eight Hours Later
The next time he opened his eyes he saw his best friend's
head lying beside his restrained wrist. She was a welcomed
site but the feel of the tube was not and he wanted to cough
it up but the drugs prevented the gag reflex. He was glad
that she was back and that she was not mad at him for his
bad behavior. Well, their bad behavior.
She could feel movement beside her and she lifted her head
and saw his watery hazel eyes, " Hey are you okay Mulder?"
She asked as she raised her head slowly from the lying
position, her neck met with a dull ache from staying too
long in the same position.
He lifted his right hand to wave at her and was met with the
resistance of the straps around his wrists. She reached over
and untied the straps then turned to get a wet washcloth.
She gently washed his face and cleaned the crust from his
eyes. He just closed his eyes and allowed the soft touch to
help relax his tense body.
As her hand made it's way across his tired face she looked
down at her friend. His face looked sad and strained. She
knew that the last twenty-four hours had been rough but it
was hard to see him suffer. She felt the need to apologize
and to make him feel better. She looked at him, their eyes
met and a tender smile crossed her face, "Sorry, I was
just trying to protect you Mulder." She could manage no more
at the risk of crying.
His hand searched for hers and when he found it he gave it a
gentle squeeze. He was her friend and she did not have to
explain. He knew Scully and he knew that she was just trying
to protect him from the pain. That was her nature and he
accepted that about his friend.
She continued to give him gentle menstruation's and he was
almost back to sleep when Dr. Harriman entered the cubicle.
"Good morning Dr. Scully. How is Mulder doing this morning?"
Mulder's flew open and he reached up to point to the tube
with his free hand. His eyes pleading for his doctor to
remove the hard object from his throat.
" So I see that my favorite patient is fighting his drugs
again. Well, Mulder how would you like to get rid of that
tube and get your leg closed? It is looking great and I can
get a surgical suite this morning."
Mulder looked up at Scully and she nodded her head. He then
looked at his doctor and nodded to him that he was ready.
"Great. If it's okay with you Mulder I would like Dr. Scully
to assist on the case. From what I hear she is great with a
needle and thread, although her patients don't get to brag
Mulder nodded and closed his eyes. He was tired and now he
was going back to surgery. He just wanted to get out of this
"I will send the nurse back in to help kick your sedation
back into full gear. We'll be ready in about thirty minutes.
Dr Scully I will see you in the OR." He patted his patient
on the foot and left.
Scully wanted to stay with Mulder until the sedation was
assisting him to sleep. Within a few minutes the nurse
entered with a syringe and placed the medicine into the IV
port. After injecting the med she turned down the lights and
quieted the monitors so that Mulder could relax. It did not
take long before Mulder was in a deep sleep. Scully picked
up her coat and left the room quietly.
Mulder was aroused from his drugged sleep by the movement to
the gurney. Then he could feel the movement as the stretcher
moved down the hallway. Unfamiliar voices filled the air as
he moved through the hallways. He could feel the air being
forced into his lungs by the ambu bag attached to his ET
tubing. As they paused at the elevator he heard the
familiar voice was from his nightmares. It was close and he
tried to open his eyes to see who was speaking but the drugs
blurred his vision and his eyelids were to heavy to keep open.
Then the elevator opened and they wheeled him inside and the
voice stopped. It was real and not a dream, he knew that
the voice was in the hospital, that it was real. Before he
could try to make sense of the occurrence sleep once again
set into his drugged body.
The next thing he remembered was the sound of Scully's voice
standing nearby and when he opened his eyes he saw masked
faces. Scully was standing beside him he could recognize
those blue eyes anywhere. " Hey sleepy head, you almost
missed the entire thing. Dr. Harriman is almost done."
Dr Harriman looked over the blue drape and his eyes
brightened, " Just putting a dressing on and then we will
send you to a step down unit after we take out you vent
tube. It may take a little while but we should have you in a
comfortable bed soon. Try to go back to sleep for a little
while longer." He looked up at the anesthesiologist and
nodded. A syringe was placed into his IV port and soon he
was sleeping again.
Mulder was taken to the recovery room and extubated. He was
awakened for a few minutes but he quickly drifted back off
to sleep. They transferred him to the step down unit with
minimal monitors and tubes. He still had his nasogastric
tubing and his G-tube for the tube feedings and his IV's. He
still had a heart monitor on for precautionary measures. The
leg brace was placed back on his left leg and his leg was
heavily bandaged underneath. Soon he would be moving to
The familiar smells of the hospital entered into his
nostrils and he opened his eyes. He quickly knew that he was
out of the ICU. This was a very positive move and he was
very grateful for the change in scenery. He had been there
too long without windows or the feeling of freedom. He
looked around and the room was empty. He actually enjoyed
the feeling of being alone. He knew that Dr. Moore would
want to talk to him after his little episode with Scully. He
would want to probe his tormented mind for answers to his
questions. He was still under the influence of the
anesthesia and it quickly pulled him back into a quiet
He was dreaming or was he dreaming? The sound of the voice
was talking again but it sounded so real, and it sounded as
if he were singing. " Fox is a cripple. Fox is a cripple.
Fox, what are you going for the children now? You want the
answer don't you Fox? Well,a honest answer to the question is
that Fox can not do anything because he is a cripple now.
Poor Fox, you can't even talk. How will the officers
understand the delusions of the Fox? Poor profiler. Poor
crippled profiler. You can not stop me Fox. I am now
unstoppable. His laughter was loud. Why was he laughing so
loud? He would not let the killer laugh at him. He was going
to stop the killer. It was his job. He would stop the
killer, he would!
The hand was soothing him again. When he opened his eyes
Scully was standing with Dr Moore. Her face was full of
concern and her voice seemed nervous. "Mulder that's it open
your eyes. You're scaring me Mulder." Her voice was soft but
He pushed his eyes open and looked at his partner and almost
closed them shut when Dr. Moore leaned forward and spoke," Hey
Mulder, you were having a pretty bad dream. Are you
okay?" Dr Moore's voice was more concerned than
Mulder nodded. He quickly realized that he no longer had
restraints, probably Scully had put a stop to that little
order. His throat was so dry and he had not had anything to
drink in ages so he thought now would be a good time to get
a sip of water, "Wader pease."
His voice was weak and painful from the tube and anesthesia.
Unfortunately he was met with two shaking heads. Now he felt
miserable, all he wanted was a drink. His mood was already
grumpy from the nightmare and now he could not even have a
simple thing, such as a small sip of water. The dream
was just the tip of the iceburg, now his mood was
full-fledged bad, " Wader Scuwy. I nee a dink, pease!"
She reached over and wet a sponge and held it up to his
lips." Mulder your physician has a barium swallow scheduled
for tomorrow morning.It If you pass the test then we can start
you on clear liquids."
Mulder reached up and pushed the sponge away then looked
over and glared at Dr. Moore, " Go way, I no nee a shink. Go
way!" he felt angry at his imprisonment and just wanted to
Scully placed the sponge down on the bedside table and
walked over to the opposite side of the bed and leaned down
close, Mulder you need to talk to Dr. Moore, your dreams are
getting worse. You need to talk."
Mulder shook his head vigorously, " I na tawkin. I tire of
tawkin. I wanna be weft awone! And I wan a dink of wader!"
his voice was loud and demanding. He felt agitated from all
the drugs and the presence of Dr. Moore. He knew that he
needed to stay calm but he was agitated and he could stop
himself from feeling so angry at the situation.
Dr Moore approached the bed, he had been standing back
letting Mulder verbalize his anger but knew that he was
becoming more and more agitated, a combination of emotions
and drugs effecting his patient. " Mulder I just want to
talk to you for a few minutes and I promise I will leave you
Mulder watched as Scully gathered her belongings and moved
quietly out of the room into the hallway closing the door
behind her as she left. Now he felt all alone and abandoned
by his friend. He was suppose to talk about his anger but
all he wanted to do was scream or hit something. All he
wanted was something to wet his dry mouth, not a sponge but
a cool drink of water.
Dr Moore looked won at his very angry patient and decided it
was time to get to the point, " Mulder, it's time to express
some of that anger before you make yourself sicker. What is
going to be the easy way or the hard way?"
Mulder turned his and ignored the physician and closed his
eyes. He was not in a mood to put up with this man's
" Your antidepressant has a good level according to your lab
work this morning." He hesitated for a few seconds then
started again, "You are very angry. Aren't you Mulder? You
are sick and now you consider yourself a cripple. It is hard
to catch a criminal when one is a cripple and unable to do
the things that you once did with a certain ease."
Mulder only heard the word cripple and the anger exploded. "
You na no me. I am na a crippol. I am na a crippo! I am na a
crippol!" he was screaming as loud as his weak voice would
allow, his right hand was now hitting the siderails of the
bed and he was repeating over and over the same words, " I
am na a crippol!"
Dr Moore grabbed his patient's hand to keep him from hurting
himself. " I'm sorry Mulder. I didn't mean it like that, I
All Mulder could hear was the word cripple. Why did Dr.
Moore call me a cripple? He tears started to flow
uncontrollably and sobs filled the room. Why did he call me
a cripple? The killer thinks I am a cripple too and so does
Scully. He felt so miserable. All I want to do is sleep and
they won't allow me to sleep. They think you are depressed
if you sleep too much. I need to go back into the dream and
talk to the killer. He might give me some more insight to
why he is killing the children. His tears still flowed and
he felt so childish but his clinical mind knew that the
stroke had effected him and his ability to control these
waves of overwhelming feelings of sadness and anxiety were
"Mulder I am going to hold your sleeping meds tonight. I
want you awake for a little while. You really need to talk."
He pulled up a chair to the bedside but kept a gentle hold
on Mulder's wrist. He then lowered the bedrail and leaned
over to talk to his patient. He reached over and grabbed a
towel and gently wiped off Mulder's wet face. "Better
Mulder?" he asked noting that he had finally calmed down.
Mulder nodded and turned over in the bed to face his
therapist. Actually this was the first time that he had
looked at his Dr. Moore since he first came into his room. "
Tan oo ast the nuss if I ca hav a dink of wader?"
He shook his head and spoke softly, "Mulder, they do not
want you to have anything to drink until after this test
tomorrow. I knew that you are thirsty but if you take a sip
and it goes down the wrong way then you could develop
aspiration pneumonia. Nobody is trying to punish you Mulder.
We are just trying to protect you from another medical
setback." He reached into the drawer and pulled out a pink
soft sponge and dipped it into a glass of cool water Scully
had brought to the room earlier. " You want to try the
Mulder nodded like an eager little boy and took the wet
sponge into his mouth. At first he choked on the moisture
but quickly recovered. He held the sponge in his mouth for a
few seconds and then let it go, Dr. Moore removed it and
again placed it into the cool water. Again Mulder took it
greedily and closed his eyes to the feeling of moisture in
his mouth. After a few more seconds he let it go and Dr.
Moore tossed the used sponge into the trash can.
"Tank oo." He felt better after crying and he wanted to let
his doctor know that he was feeling better but he was now
hurting. The pain in his leg was letting itself be known. A
grimace crossed his face when he tried to move the brace
into a comfortable position."
Dr. Moore noted the facial grimace and became concerned for
his patient. " Mulder are you okay?"
The feeling in his leg was beginning to come back and the
pain was becoming very evident. He hated to show anymore
weakness to his therapist but he knew that he did not have a
choice, " Yeah, it na too ba."
Dr Moore reached over and hit the nurse's call light and
asked the voice to bring his patient something for pain."
Mulder looked at the therapist with a look of trepidation,
"Yoo sa no mor dugs. Yoo are confuzin me."
Dr Moore shook his head and grinned, "I meant no sleeping
meds Mulder. I would not expect any of my patients to
suffer. You just had sugery a few hours ago Mulder. I agree
with your partner Dr. Scully, the main focus here is your
mental and physical well being. You've been through a lot
Mulder and I plan on helping you as much as much as you will
Mulder nodded in understanding but he knew that it was going
to be difficult to confide in the therapist. He had learned
long ago not to trust anyone. When the nurse entered a few
minutes later he grimaced at the sight of the syringe. It
was probably a combination of the antidepressant and pain
Dr Moore stood and moved away from the bed, pushing the
chair out of the nurse's way. As the nurse approached Mulder
at first thought she was going to insert the syringe
intravenously. She surprised him by waving him to pull
himself over a little bit more as she pulled down his
blanket and sheet and raised his gown.
Mulder did not try to assist instead he pointed towards the
IV. He continued to stare at he syringe that she held in her
The nurse looked past the boyish look on her patient's face.
" Mr. Mulder I need to give your medications
intramuscularly. Dr Harriman wants to get you off your
intravenous fluids. I promise it will only sting for a
minute. The plan is to get you into rehab next week."
Mulder shook his head, "It na hur tha ba. I fi."
The nurse smiled down at her patient and shook her head.
" You sure are a stubborn young man. Now roll over and get
some medicine for the pain or it will get worse and it will
take more medicine to get the pain relieved. Now roll over
before I call for assistance."
Mulder could hear the serious tone in her voice and did not
want to get her on her bad side. He reached over with his
good hand and pulled himself towards the side rails. Within
seconds the gown was lifted and he felt the piercing needle
enter his hip. He almost jerked but he maintained composure
and allowed the nurse to complete the task.
The nurse assisted Mulder in getting comfortable and left
him with Dr. Moore. Dr Moore wanted to get a few more
minutes in with his patient before the drugs kicked in
again." Mulder you should start to feel better in a few
minutes. Do you feel like a small conversation?"
Mulder nodded but his heart was not into talking. He wanted
the pain medicine to take him back into the dream. He needed
to hear the voice again. The voice that he had heard before
he entered the elevator, was it real or was it just a vivid
Dr Moore hesitated for a few seconds and then he sat back
down facing his patient. " Can you tell me about your dreams
Mulder looked up and shook his head," Na yet."
He nodded in understanding that this was going to be a
difficult area for his patient. Mulder had a history of bad
nightmares, especially when he was working a bad case. He
had read other reports on Mulder and he would not press the
issue at this time. " When you get ready to talk Mulder I
will listen." He stood to get ready to leave for a while
when he felt a hand touch his arm.
Mulder looked at his therapist and spoke in a low and sad
voice, "Da killa is dea. Righ? I kill em, he is dea."
" I don't know Mulder. I wish I could give you the answer
but I just don't know the answer. You've been through a lot.
You witnessed a horrific event and then you were shot. You
really haven't had time to deal with everything." He paused
and reached over and touched Mulder's shoulder, "That is why
it is important for you to talk to someone. Maybe there is a
way to figure these things out and try to give it some kind of
Mulder closed his eyes and nodded. He was feeling the
effects of the pain medicine and sleep again was pulling him
under. He wanted to rest. He wanted to return to the
nightmare. The killer was there and he needed to profile him
and see why he was doing the things he was doing.
Dr Moore left the room when Mulder had gone back to sleep.
Hopefully he would trust him enough to help get him through
the bad dreams.
Continued in chapter nine.