NEUROLOGICAL ICU

She avoided the question and decided it was time for a 
little surprise. " Mulder, Dr. Harriman wants to get you 
moved to a regular floor today. Isn't that great?"

Mulder hesitated for a few seconds before answering. " Tha 
goo." he attempted to pronounce his excitement.

She smiled at her best friend and squeezed his right arm. 
" I am so proud of you Mulder. You are doing so good."

He decided not to tell her about last night. She might get 
upset at him for crying like a baby. The stroke had made him 
more vulnerable to his emotions. He felt like a yo-yo going 
from anger to sadness. He just wanted to get better and go 
home.

The rest of his morning was the daily routine. The speech 
therapist walked in and smiled down at her patient. "How are 
you this morning Mulder?"

" Gad to see yoo Pamewa." He knew that he had to impress the 
woman who made him attempt speaking every day.

The speech therapist froze and smiled a huge smile. " Well 
glad to see you too Mulder." The pride for her patient's 
accomplishment was beaming in every word she spoke.

They worked on some sounds and she gave him a board and some 
chalk to help him communicate. Then she gave him a huge hug 
and promised to see him again that afternoon.

He was doing better emotionally by mid morning and the 
physical therapist was also impressed by Mulder's ability to 
speak and his new willingness to work on his daily 
exercises. He also left with a promise to return that 
afternoon.

The morning nurse,Rachel stepped in and announced it was time for 
him to get his bath and to get up in the chair. She was also
amazed at her patient's new demeanor and willingness to 
assist with the task. She was a little bit anxious about 
the injection that was due though
but she knew that it was for his own good. " I need to give 
your injection Mr. Mulder. I heard that you do not think 
they are necessary but it is what the doctor ordered."

He watched as she scrubbed the swab over his right hip and 
the stab of the needle made him flinch but he would not cry 
in front of Scully. She would want to know why he was crying 
and he could not explain that he was not being cooperative. 
He really did not want to get into a discussion about Dr. Moore.

Scully observed Mulder's quiet demeanor after the injection 
and wondered what might have transpired during her absence. 
She needed to talk to the nurse. She would wait till Mulder 
fell asleep. He was already exhausted from the morning therapies 
and rituals. She did not have to wait long before he was nodding 
off to sleep as he sat up in the chair. The medicine that the 
nurse had given him might have something to do with the 
sleepiness. She walked to the nurse's desk to talk to the 
nurse.

A voice that was very familiar awakened him from his 
sleep. He opened his sticky eyes and saw that Dr. Moore had 
taken his partner's place. " Good morning Mulder. Do you 
feel like a little company this morning?" He asked, hoping 
that his patient was feeling a little better. He knew that 
the Elavil had not had time to get to a therapeutic level 
but was impressed with the reports the therapists were 
writing in his patient's chart.

Mulder looked at the psychologist with a look of disgust. 
"No. I seepy. Go way." He again closed his eyes and ignored 
the doctor.

Dr. Moore walked over to the sink and wet a wash cloth with 
cold water and came back to Mulder's side and started to rub 
the washcloth over Mulder's eyes and face.

Mulder was startled by the cloth and yelled," Sto! No!" then 
pushed the cloth away with his good arm.

" Sorry Mulder but I really need you awake for your therapy 
session." Dr. Moore placed the cloth down on the bedside 
table and sat down to look at his patient, who was sitting 
up in the chair.

Mulder glared at the man and closed his eyes again. He was 
so tired. He did not feel like arguing with the pyscho 
doctor. Let him find someone else to psychoanalyze. He just 
wanted to sleep and that is what he did, he was too tired 
to do anything else.

When Mulder awakened he was back in bed tucked back under 
the sheet. He was hooked up to his IV fluids and his feeding 
tube. He also felt something new. His left side was like 
pins and needles. He was feeling a lot of tingling sensation 
on the left side of his face, arm and leg. This was new and 
painful. He also noticed that it was night and that he was 
still in the same room. Why hadn't he been moved and where 
was Scully?" He looked around and found the call light. The 
pins and needles in his left side needed some attention. Was 
he getting worse? He pushed the button and waited for the 
nurse.

The nurse,Sheila entered with the dreaded syringe and a smile on 
her face," Hey there sleepy head. Your friend went home, I 
think she got bored looking at the walls. She will be back 
in the morning. How are you feeling?"

" He wanted to say 'Like Hell' but that might get him 
another visit from Dr. Moore or an enema. He decided to ask 
to be turned and maybe he would feel better. "Tur."

She pushed the call light for some assistance and proceeded 
to pull up his gown and rub the alcohol pad over his sore 
hip. "This is your antidepressant. It will sting or a few 
seconds." She then pushed the needle into the tight muscle. 
That had to hurt, she thought to herself. " What's wrong 
Mulder?" she asked her very tense patient.

" Why I na moo da?" his voice was very sad at the change of 
venue.

The nurse shook her head and frowned," I'm sorry. Dr Moore 
wants you here for a day or so longer. He feels that the 
Elavil will be getting a good level soon and that he will be able 
to talk to you before he allows the transfer. Sorry." She 
felt bad for her patient, she knew it had to be difficult to 
go through so much in such a small amount of time.

Mulder sank down into his bed and looked up at his nurse,"I 
ca na tal goo. It ca wai."

"I agree Mulder but Dr. Moore is a hard man to tell what to 
do and he thinks that he can be of benefit to you and the 
stress you have been under." She adjusted some IV lines. A 
knock came on the door. Her assistance had arrived 
and together they turned and repositioned Mulder on his 
right side. " Is that better?"

Mulder had been silent through the ritual but when the room 
cleared he looked up at his nurse and spoke softly. "My aum 
hur and my weg hur." A grimace plastered on his face.

"Which arm Mulder?" She asked with concern.

" Te weft won hur. My weg too." The pain was intensifying 
and he really just wanted something for pain. The nurse 
lifted the paralyzed extremity.

"Mulder can you squeeze my hand?" she asked as she placed 
her hand in his hand.

He attempted to try and squeeze but the pins and needles 
sensation almost made him scream out in pain. Finally he was 
able to move his fingers a small amount.

The nurse cried out," Look at you! You are full of 
surprises." She quickly left the room but came back after a 
few minutes with another nurse. She asked Mulder again to 
perform the movement.

He did but began to cry in pain. The nurse tried to calm 
her patient but he was hurting and he needed something 
for pain. She paged the on call physician.

Soon the physician entered the room and performed a few 
neuro tests and ordered a CAT scan for the next day. A few 
minutes later he was ordering pain medicine for the pain in 
Mulder's arm and leg.

Not long after the doctor left Mulder started feeling 
better. He was told that the feeling in his extremities was 
probably due to the decreased swelling in his brain and that 
it was a very good sign that he was recovering from his 
stroke. He closed his eyes and was allowing the sleep to 
reclaim him when he heard a familiar voice.Unfortunately, 
the drugs made it seem far away and soon he was sleeping 
and the voice no longer mattered.

He was dreaming and the voice was talking to him. The 
familiar voice but he could not place it with a face. The voice 
was talking to the victims, the small children that had been
killed. The voice was laughing and telling the children that the 
FBI man had caught the wrong guy by mistake. Then he heard 
the small children calling out to him to save them that they 
did not want to die. They were begging him to save them. 
Then the familiar voice was telling them that he was going 
to kill more children and that the FBI man could not do 
anything for them because he was a cripple. Again the 
children cried out to the FBI man to save them but he shook 
his head and told them that the bad guy was dead. Then the 
children started dying again. He could not save them because 
he could not move because he was a cripple. He started to 
cry for the children because they needed him but he was 
helpless.

A hand was soothing his cheek and he was shivering. He 
opened his eyes to see the nurse,Sheila again with a concerned 
look. She spoke softly to her upset patient, "Bad dream 
Mulder?"

He looked around the dark room that was only lit with the 
light off the monitors, "Bad. Rewy bad."

She placed a cool cloth on his forehead and spoke again," We 
think you may have had a bad reaction to the pain medicine 
but the on call physician ordered something different. We 
were getting concerned when you didn't wake up right away."

He looked at the nurse with a sad face," Yo caw Scuwy?"

She shook her head and smiled, " Not yet but if you hadn't 
awakened when you did then I would have called." She reached 
down and pushed the call light for assistance.

When assistance arrived they turned him to his left side but 
the pain medicine had worn off and Mulder did not want to 
take anything else. He did not want anymore nightmares. He 
knew that he would not sleep anymore tonight.

0600am

When Dr Harrison entered the cubicle the next morning Mulder 
was not in a good mood. " How are you doing Mulder?" but 
knew his answer was not going to a good one from the smirk 
on his patient's face.

" My aum and weg hur a wat." His voice was gravely from the 
lack of sleep and he did not want to argue, his speech 
seemed more slurred this mourning because he was tired and 
had not slept since he had awakened from the bad dream.

Dr Harrison again checked his neuro function and noted that 
Mulder was tired and did not perform as well as he had the 
night before. He looked down at his stubborn patient and 
started to explain why he could not give pain medicine. " 
Mulder we need to get the CAT scan first and the results of 
some lab tests that I'm ordering this morning. I will order 
something for pain after the tests. The drugs might obscure 
the test results."

Mulder grimaced and looked away from his physician and in a 
low tone whispered to himself, "Tywenaw would be nice."

Dr Harriman smiled, he knew that his patient was getting 
better. " Mulder I will see you after the CAT scan."

Mulder nodded and closed his eyes against the growing pain 
in his arm and leg. Soon they were loading him onto the 
gurney, disconnecting his wires and tubes and reconnecting 
his monitors and plugging up his G-tube.

After he was returned to the room he was placed back into a 
clean bed and everything was reconnected. Dr Moore was 
sitting in the room awaiting his return. Mulder glanced over 
to the psychologist and mumbled, "Wha yo wan? I alrade havin 
a ba da"

He gave Mulder a small grin, " Hey I didn't have anything to 
do with the tests. I only deal with people's minds." He saw 
that Mulder was grimacing quite a bit and was concerned for 
his patient. " The nurse told me you were having bad dreams 
last night and that you had problems going back to sleep 
afterwards."

Mulder looked towards the window and answered in a quiet 
voice, "Nofin new. I alwa hav ba dreems." He tried to 
reposition his aching arm and let out a small moan.

Dr Moore was concerned for his patient, " Hey Mulder do you 
need something for pain?"

Mulder looked shocked at the concern of the man whom he 
considered a bother. He was hurting and the pain in his arm 
and leg was the worse than he had had since last night. He nodded 
and closed his eyes. Actually he was amazed that the man had 
taken the moment to notice but knew that if he cried due to 
the pain that Dr. Moore would increase his antidepressant or 
place him on suicide watch.

Dr Moore stood and exited the room but came back after a few 
minutes. He was followed by Dr Harriman and the nurse.
" Mulder, your CAT scan looked much improved and that would 
explain the pins and needle feeling that you are having. 
Your lab work is looking really good too. I'm going to order 
something for the pain in your arm and take you off the 
continuous dose of medicine in your IV. I promise that the 
pain in your arm will start to improve with time. I am going 
to order some medicine that can go into your G tube and if 
that does not work then I will order an injection also. Dr. 
Moore and I want you out of the unit by tomorrow but you are 
going to have to talk to Dr. Moore first. Your Elavil levels 
are looking good but we are going to increase your dosage 
today and get you a sleeping pill ordered for sleep at 
night. I want you alert during the day to work on physical 
and speech therapy. Any questions?"

" Yeah. Ca I res now?" he asked, he was sleepy and hurting. 
" I tire and I hur."

The nurse approached with two syringes and Mulder grimaced. 
"Mr. Mulder I need to give you a couple of injections. One 
is pain medicine and the other is your antidepressant. I 
need you to roll as much as you can on your side"

Mulder shook his head, " Pu em in da IV. I ha sho."

Dr Harriman and Dr. Moore tried to hide their smiles but 
they failed, Dr Harriman shook his head, " Mulder you have 
faced down monsters and chased after vampires and you are 
afraid of a needle?"

" I na afra. My bu hurs." He answered but never took his 
eyes off the nurse.

"Mulder, let her give you the injections and you will feel 
better in about fifteen minutes. You can get the rest by 
your G tube. Except the antidepressant. It will need to 
given by injection until your levels are more therapeutic."

Mulder rolled his eyes and acquiesced to his doctors 
instructions. He pushed himself over as far as he could 
using the siderail and he felt the alcohol swab against his 
sore skin. She injected the medicine but he knew that he 
could not give them a show. He felt like screaming but he 
held it inside and endured the pain.

Dr Harriman reached down and opened the brace and removed 
the dressing on the wound. " Mulder, it looks like I'm going 
to get to close up this wound soon. It really looks good." 
He looked over to the nurse and gave her instructions to 
redress the leg and replace the brace. Together Dr Moore and 
Harriman exited the room much to Mulder's relief, if he 
could get rid of the pesky little nurse then he would sleep. 
The pain medicine was starting to kick in and he was feeling 
better.

After the nurse left she flipped off the light and left the 
call light within reach. Within a few minutes he was snoring 
softly.

3 hours later

When he awakened Scully was at his bedside, she gave him a 
huge grin when he opened his eyes. His mouth felt dry and 
for a second he didn't realize that his partner was holding 
a wet sponge in front of his mouth. She swabbed it gently 
and allowed him to spit into the plastic emesis bowl. He 
pulled at her jacket and she responded to his attempt to get 
his attention. She placed the bowl on the table and looked 
down at her partner. " Mulder what's wrong?" she asked out 
of concern of the change in his mood.

" I wan a dink of wawer." He pointed towards the empty 
container sitting across the room.

She gave him an empathetic look and shook her head, 
" Mulder, Dr. Harriman wants to perform a Barium Swallow 
tomorrow before giving you fluids. He wants to make sure 
that you won't aspirate anything down into your lungs. If 
the test is fine then he will allow you to have clear 
fluids with some thickit mixed with the water."

Mulder gave her a pouty look but she ignored it and moved 
towards the sink to wet another sponge. She knew he was 
angry at not having some control over the situation. When 
she offered the sponge again he refused it so she lay it 
down into the bowl and picked up her magazine and sat down 
in the chair beside of his bed. After a few minutes she 
looked up to see tears rolling down his cheeks. She 
immediately responded by standing and grabbing some tissues 
and wiping away the tears. "Hey I'm sorry Mulder." She felt 
bad for her friend, she knew that he was having difficulty 
with not having his independence, " Maybe Dr. Harriman can 
order the test for today and we can get you off the tube 
feedings, if you do well with the Barium swallow."

He nodded and turned his head as in deep thought. After a 
few minutes he turned back and with a look of seriousness he 
asked, " Scuwy, hav der ben anymor kiwins?"

The question took her by surprise and she responded in a 
very matter of fact tone," Mulder you are not able to talk 
about work yet. Your physicians would get upset at both of 
us if I allowed it so just forget that little trick Mulder."

Mulder looked puzzled and then he repeated the question, 
"Scuwy, pease. Hav der ben anymor kiwins?"

She thought about lying to her partner but knew better. She 
could swear sometimes that he read minds. She walked over to 
the foot of the bed and stood, giving herself some distance. 
She thought for a second, biting at her lip. She knew that 
she had to tell him the truth because he would not let it go 
and his health would suffer. " There have been some similar 
killings but we feel we are dealing with a copy cat killer. 
The profile is different."

He looked at her with such an intensity that she had not 
seen since the night of his injury," Wha is differen Scuwy?"

She decided not to answer anymore questions and cause her 
partner concern. " Mulder it is just different. Okay? Leave 
it alone, Skinner does not want you working until you are 
better. Now that is an order, so obey it!" Her temper was 
flaring. She was not going to allow Mulder to jeopardize his 
health worrying over this case. She would drug him till he 
was better if that is what it would take.

" I na a babe Scuwy. I wanna know and I wanna know now!" he 
was getting upset at her avoidance of the question. His 
voice was almost at a scream and he was looking at her with 
a determination she had not seen for a long time. He would 
not let go of the question. He needed and wanted the 
answers.

She hesitated then spoke carefully to her sick but stubborn 
friend, "Listen Mulder, when you get better I will 
personally fill you in on the details but not until you have 
healed. You are officially off the case and you will not ask 
me again."

Mulder picked up the emesis bowl and threw it across the 
room. It hit off the wall and fell to the floor. He then 
cleared off the bedside table with a sweep of his arm. "Te 
me Scuwy. I kno he is awive cos I her him las nigh. He wa 
tewin me tha he was kiwin mor chilwen. I nee da sop him. I 
nee to hewp the widdle chiwren. Pease Scuwy. Pease!" His 
voice was pleading and his eyes were filled with tears.



His shouts were heard at the nurse's station and within 
minutes the room was filled with nurse's and the internist. 
They found a stand off between the two friends and the 
wreckage of his room. Mulder was now trying to lift himself 
up in bed with his good arm and leg. His hand was gripped 
tightly on the rail and the monitors were ringing loudly. 
His face was red and angry looking. His partner was standing 
across the room not looking much better herself. The charge 
nurse interrupted the fight and stepped inside her room 
between them, " Mr. Mulder, please calm down."

He ignored  her command and focused only on his partner now. 
He stared at his partner with a steely eyed glare and he 
would not allow the question to die. " Scuwy, pease. Is he 
awive? His hand hit the rail of the bed, " Is he awive 
dammi?" Tew me scuwy! Is he kiwin mor babes?"

The internist knew that he needed to end the stand off 
before the patient suffered anymore setbacks in his health. 
He got the attention of the nurse and told her in almost a 
whisper to get Thorazine and restraints. She left the room 
quietly.

When the nurse reentered the room she had Dr. Harriman in 
tow. The two partners were still giving hard stares at each 
other and the monitors were still beeping wildly. Dr 
Harriman took in the scene and in a loud and thunderous 
voice yelled, " What the Hell is going on in here? You need 
to be resting Mulder and Dr. Scully needs to be going back 
to work." He turned to the internist and motioned him 
forward, " What are you doing about this situation?"

" I've ordered the patient to have Thoarazine and I was 
going to restrain him until he could calm down." He answered 
as he took the syringe from the nurse.

" Let's do it then. I want him heavily sedated." He turned 
back to the screams from his patient, whose blood pressure 
and heartrate were way to high for a recent stroke patient. 
" Dr. Scully can you get your things? Mulder I need you to 
lay back down."

Scully started gathering her things but Mulder just got more 
angry. " Te me Scuwy. Te me now! I nee to kno. Pease Scuwy, 
pease!" he pleaded deperately.

The nurse escorted a teary eyed Scully out of the room, 
leaving a very upset patient. Mulder seemed more upset after 
she left the room. He knew he would not get his answers or 
was her silence his answer. The killer was still alive and 
he was killing more children. How could he have been so 
wrong on his profile? He spotted the syringes in the doctors 
hands and yelled to the crowd " Go way. No sho. I na wanna 
go to seep. Go way."

Dr Harriman and the internist took opposite sides of the 
bed. Mulder was still raised up in bed and hanging onto the 
siderail with his right hand. He knew what they were going 
to do next and he felt the panic rising up inside of him as 
they approached his bed. He would try not to fight them but 
the last thing he wanted to do was sleep. Dr Harrison and 
the internist gently pulled him down into the bed and rolled 
him onto his weak side. He felt them exposing his hip and 
the cool swab was rubbing against sore skin. " No, pease 
no!" he cried out to his physicians.

" Mulder calm down. We are going to give you something to 
help relax you. You will feel better afterwards." Dr 
Harriman tried to comfort his anxious patient.

Mulder knew what they were going to do next and the panic 
took over and he reached back and grabbed the syringe with 
his hand.

" Mulder let go of the syringe." His voice was calm and 
gentle now. He did not like seeing Mulder this upset.

Mulder continued to hold on to the syringe with a tighter 
grip and he shook his head.

" Mulder you need a little down time. Your blood pressure is 
elevated and your heart is racing. Dr Harriman was now 
rubbing Mulder's shoulder trying to comfort his distressed 
patient.

Mulder held the grip tighter, he did not want to sleep. He 
wanted to talk to Scully about the killer of small children. 
He needed some answers and he wanted a simple answer to his 
question. The killer was alive and it was his fault that the 
killings had continued. It was his profile that had led them 
to the wrong man. He had killed the man who had shot the 
small girl but he had not stopped the child killer. Were 
they related? He needed time to think. He needed to able to 
profile the man again, he needed the new information and the 
how many more children had he killed. He wanted to talk to 
Scully but all they wanted to do was drug him into an 
oblivious state. " No seep. I need to tal to Scuwy. Now! 
Pease!" he yelled out as loud as he could manage.

Dr Harriman looked down at his weak patient and wondered 
what had given him the will to fight so hard. He also knew 
that if he didn't stop the unnecessary stress that Mulder 
could have a setback in his progress. He could not risk his 
patient's health being jeopardized. He took the other 
syringe and handed it to the internist and he quickly jabbed 
the needle into Mulder's exposed hip, the thick liquid hurt 
as it entered the tight muscle. Mulder's eyes welled with 
tears and he knew that they were going to win the fight. He 
let go of the hand that held the other syringe and again he 
felt himself being turned and the other hip being exposed 
and the cool swab rubbing against his skin. He tried to pull 
away but the strong hands held tight. "Pease no mor. No mor, 
pease." his voice was begging and he felt the sting of the 
needle as it entered the skin and tight muscle. Mulder 
moaned out loudly as the burning fluids entered, he could 
feel the numbness of the drug setting in and the pull of 
sleep. He did not want to go to sleep, he just wanted to 
talk to his partner.

Dr Harriman tried again to soothe his upset patient, " It's 
okay Mulder, just relax and go to sleep. Just relax and it 
won't hurt so bad." He watched as the internist removed the 
needle and again swabbed the sore skin. They repositioned 
him to his weaker side and applied the hand and feet 
restraints for his safety. Dr Harriman cleared the room and 
sat down with his sleepy patient. The lights were dimmed and 
the room became quiet. Mulder was still talking to himself 
in low whispers. Chanting something about not catching the 
right killer. Dr Harriman stayed until his patient was 
sleeping the Thorazine sleep. He then left to find Dr. 
Scully. He wanted some answers.

Part eight