She avoided the question and decided it was time for a
little surprise. " Mulder, Dr. Harriman wants to get you
moved to a regular floor today. Isn't that great?"
Mulder hesitated for a few seconds before answering. " Tha
goo." he attempted to pronounce his excitement.
She smiled at her best friend and squeezed his right arm.
" I am so proud of you Mulder. You are doing so good."
He decided not to tell her about last night. She might get
upset at him for crying like a baby. The stroke had made him
more vulnerable to his emotions. He felt like a yo-yo going
from anger to sadness. He just wanted to get better and go
The rest of his morning was the daily routine. The speech
therapist walked in and smiled down at her patient. "How are
you this morning Mulder?"
" Gad to see yoo Pamewa." He knew that he had to impress the
woman who made him attempt speaking every day.
The speech therapist froze and smiled a huge smile. " Well
glad to see you too Mulder." The pride for her patient's
accomplishment was beaming in every word she spoke.
They worked on some sounds and she gave him a board and some
chalk to help him communicate. Then she gave him a huge hug
and promised to see him again that afternoon.
He was doing better emotionally by mid morning and the
physical therapist was also impressed by Mulder's ability to
speak and his new willingness to work on his daily
exercises. He also left with a promise to return that
The morning nurse,Rachel stepped in and announced it was time for
him to get his bath and to get up in the chair. She was also
amazed at her patient's new demeanor and willingness to
assist with the task. She was a little bit anxious about
the injection that was due though
but she knew that it was for his own good. " I need to give
your injection Mr. Mulder. I heard that you do not think
they are necessary but it is what the doctor ordered."
He watched as she scrubbed the swab over his right hip and
the stab of the needle made him flinch but he would not cry
in front of Scully. She would want to know why he was crying
and he could not explain that he was not being cooperative.
He really did not want to get into a discussion about Dr. Moore.
Scully observed Mulder's quiet demeanor after the injection
and wondered what might have transpired during her absence.
She needed to talk to the nurse. She would wait till Mulder
fell asleep. He was already exhausted from the morning therapies
and rituals. She did not have to wait long before he was nodding
off to sleep as he sat up in the chair. The medicine that the
nurse had given him might have something to do with the
sleepiness. She walked to the nurse's desk to talk to the
A voice that was very familiar awakened him from his
sleep. He opened his sticky eyes and saw that Dr. Moore had
taken his partner's place. " Good morning Mulder. Do you
feel like a little company this morning?" He asked, hoping
that his patient was feeling a little better. He knew that
the Elavil had not had time to get to a therapeutic level
but was impressed with the reports the therapists were
writing in his patient's chart.
Mulder looked at the psychologist with a look of disgust.
"No. I seepy. Go way." He again closed his eyes and ignored
Dr. Moore walked over to the sink and wet a wash cloth with
cold water and came back to Mulder's side and started to rub
the washcloth over Mulder's eyes and face.
Mulder was startled by the cloth and yelled," Sto! No!" then
pushed the cloth away with his good arm.
" Sorry Mulder but I really need you awake for your therapy
session." Dr. Moore placed the cloth down on the bedside
table and sat down to look at his patient, who was sitting
up in the chair.
Mulder glared at the man and closed his eyes again. He was
so tired. He did not feel like arguing with the pyscho
doctor. Let him find someone else to psychoanalyze. He just
wanted to sleep and that is what he did, he was too tired
to do anything else.
When Mulder awakened he was back in bed tucked back under
the sheet. He was hooked up to his IV fluids and his feeding
tube. He also felt something new. His left side was like
pins and needles. He was feeling a lot of tingling sensation
on the left side of his face, arm and leg. This was new and
painful. He also noticed that it was night and that he was
still in the same room. Why hadn't he been moved and where
was Scully?" He looked around and found the call light. The
pins and needles in his left side needed some attention. Was
he getting worse? He pushed the button and waited for the
The nurse,Sheila entered with the dreaded syringe and a smile on
her face," Hey there sleepy head. Your friend went home, I
think she got bored looking at the walls. She will be back
in the morning. How are you feeling?"
" He wanted to say 'Like Hell' but that might get him
another visit from Dr. Moore or an enema. He decided to ask
to be turned and maybe he would feel better. "Tur."
She pushed the call light for some assistance and proceeded
to pull up his gown and rub the alcohol pad over his sore
hip. "This is your antidepressant. It will sting or a few
seconds." She then pushed the needle into the tight muscle.
That had to hurt, she thought to herself. " What's wrong
Mulder?" she asked her very tense patient.
" Why I na moo da?" his voice was very sad at the change of
The nurse shook her head and frowned," I'm sorry. Dr Moore
wants you here for a day or so longer. He feels that the
Elavil will be getting a good level soon and that he will be able
to talk to you before he allows the transfer. Sorry." She
felt bad for her patient, she knew it had to be difficult to
go through so much in such a small amount of time.
Mulder sank down into his bed and looked up at his nurse,"I
ca na tal goo. It ca wai."
"I agree Mulder but Dr. Moore is a hard man to tell what to
do and he thinks that he can be of benefit to you and the
stress you have been under." She adjusted some IV lines. A
knock came on the door. Her assistance had arrived
and together they turned and repositioned Mulder on his
right side. " Is that better?"
Mulder had been silent through the ritual but when the room
cleared he looked up at his nurse and spoke softly. "My aum
hur and my weg hur." A grimace plastered on his face.
"Which arm Mulder?" She asked with concern.
" Te weft won hur. My weg too." The pain was intensifying
and he really just wanted something for pain. The nurse
lifted the paralyzed extremity.
"Mulder can you squeeze my hand?" she asked as she placed
her hand in his hand.
He attempted to try and squeeze but the pins and needles
sensation almost made him scream out in pain. Finally he was
able to move his fingers a small amount.
The nurse cried out," Look at you! You are full of
surprises." She quickly left the room but came back after a
few minutes with another nurse. She asked Mulder again to
perform the movement.
He did but began to cry in pain. The nurse tried to calm
her patient but he was hurting and he needed something
for pain. She paged the on call physician.
Soon the physician entered the room and performed a few
neuro tests and ordered a CAT scan for the next day. A few
minutes later he was ordering pain medicine for the pain in
Mulder's arm and leg.
Not long after the doctor left Mulder started feeling
better. He was told that the feeling in his extremities was
probably due to the decreased swelling in his brain and that
it was a very good sign that he was recovering from his
stroke. He closed his eyes and was allowing the sleep to
reclaim him when he heard a familiar voice.Unfortunately,
the drugs made it seem far away and soon he was sleeping
and the voice no longer mattered.
He was dreaming and the voice was talking to him. The
familiar voice but he could not place it with a face. The voice
was talking to the victims, the small children that had been
killed. The voice was laughing and telling the children that the
FBI man had caught the wrong guy by mistake. Then he heard
the small children calling out to him to save them that they
did not want to die. They were begging him to save them.
Then the familiar voice was telling them that he was going
to kill more children and that the FBI man could not do
anything for them because he was a cripple. Again the
children cried out to the FBI man to save them but he shook
his head and told them that the bad guy was dead. Then the
children started dying again. He could not save them because
he could not move because he was a cripple. He started to
cry for the children because they needed him but he was
A hand was soothing his cheek and he was shivering. He
opened his eyes to see the nurse,Sheila again with a concerned
look. She spoke softly to her upset patient, "Bad dream
He looked around the dark room that was only lit with the
light off the monitors, "Bad. Rewy bad."
She placed a cool cloth on his forehead and spoke again," We
think you may have had a bad reaction to the pain medicine
but the on call physician ordered something different. We
were getting concerned when you didn't wake up right away."
He looked at the nurse with a sad face," Yo caw Scuwy?"
She shook her head and smiled, " Not yet but if you hadn't
awakened when you did then I would have called." She reached
down and pushed the call light for assistance.
When assistance arrived they turned him to his left side but
the pain medicine had worn off and Mulder did not want to
take anything else. He did not want anymore nightmares. He
knew that he would not sleep anymore tonight.
When Dr Harrison entered the cubicle the next morning Mulder
was not in a good mood. " How are you doing Mulder?" but
knew his answer was not going to a good one from the smirk
on his patient's face.
" My aum and weg hur a wat." His voice was gravely from the
lack of sleep and he did not want to argue, his speech
seemed more slurred this mourning because he was tired and
had not slept since he had awakened from the bad dream.
Dr Harrison again checked his neuro function and noted that
Mulder was tired and did not perform as well as he had the
night before. He looked down at his stubborn patient and
started to explain why he could not give pain medicine. "
Mulder we need to get the CAT scan first and the results of
some lab tests that I'm ordering this morning. I will order
something for pain after the tests. The drugs might obscure
the test results."
Mulder grimaced and looked away from his physician and in a
low tone whispered to himself, "Tywenaw would be nice."
Dr Harriman smiled, he knew that his patient was getting
better. " Mulder I will see you after the CAT scan."
Mulder nodded and closed his eyes against the growing pain
in his arm and leg. Soon they were loading him onto the
gurney, disconnecting his wires and tubes and reconnecting
his monitors and plugging up his G-tube.
After he was returned to the room he was placed back into a
clean bed and everything was reconnected. Dr Moore was
sitting in the room awaiting his return. Mulder glanced over
to the psychologist and mumbled, "Wha yo wan? I alrade havin
a ba da"
He gave Mulder a small grin, " Hey I didn't have anything to
do with the tests. I only deal with people's minds." He saw
that Mulder was grimacing quite a bit and was concerned for
his patient. " The nurse told me you were having bad dreams
last night and that you had problems going back to sleep
Mulder looked towards the window and answered in a quiet
voice, "Nofin new. I alwa hav ba dreems." He tried to
reposition his aching arm and let out a small moan.
Dr Moore was concerned for his patient, " Hey Mulder do you
need something for pain?"
Mulder looked shocked at the concern of the man whom he
considered a bother. He was hurting and the pain in his arm
and leg was the worse than he had had since last night. He nodded
and closed his eyes. Actually he was amazed that the man had
taken the moment to notice but knew that if he cried due to
the pain that Dr. Moore would increase his antidepressant or
place him on suicide watch.
Dr Moore stood and exited the room but came back after a few
minutes. He was followed by Dr Harriman and the nurse.
" Mulder, your CAT scan looked much improved and that would
explain the pins and needle feeling that you are having.
Your lab work is looking really good too. I'm going to order
something for the pain in your arm and take you off the
continuous dose of medicine in your IV. I promise that the
pain in your arm will start to improve with time. I am going
to order some medicine that can go into your G tube and if
that does not work then I will order an injection also. Dr.
Moore and I want you out of the unit by tomorrow but you are
going to have to talk to Dr. Moore first. Your Elavil levels
are looking good but we are going to increase your dosage
today and get you a sleeping pill ordered for sleep at
night. I want you alert during the day to work on physical
and speech therapy. Any questions?"
" Yeah. Ca I res now?" he asked, he was sleepy and hurting.
" I tire and I hur."
The nurse approached with two syringes and Mulder grimaced.
"Mr. Mulder I need to give you a couple of injections. One
is pain medicine and the other is your antidepressant. I
need you to roll as much as you can on your side"
Mulder shook his head, " Pu em in da IV. I ha sho."
Dr Harriman and Dr. Moore tried to hide their smiles but
they failed, Dr Harriman shook his head, " Mulder you have
faced down monsters and chased after vampires and you are
afraid of a needle?"
" I na afra. My bu hurs." He answered but never took his
eyes off the nurse.
"Mulder, let her give you the injections and you will feel
better in about fifteen minutes. You can get the rest by
your G tube. Except the antidepressant. It will need to
given by injection until your levels are more therapeutic."
Mulder rolled his eyes and acquiesced to his doctors
instructions. He pushed himself over as far as he could
using the siderail and he felt the alcohol swab against his
sore skin. She injected the medicine but he knew that he
could not give them a show. He felt like screaming but he
held it inside and endured the pain.
Dr Harriman reached down and opened the brace and removed
the dressing on the wound. " Mulder, it looks like I'm going
to get to close up this wound soon. It really looks good."
He looked over to the nurse and gave her instructions to
redress the leg and replace the brace. Together Dr Moore and
Harriman exited the room much to Mulder's relief, if he
could get rid of the pesky little nurse then he would sleep.
The pain medicine was starting to kick in and he was feeling
After the nurse left she flipped off the light and left the
call light within reach. Within a few minutes he was snoring
3 hours later
When he awakened Scully was at his bedside, she gave him a
huge grin when he opened his eyes. His mouth felt dry and
for a second he didn't realize that his partner was holding
a wet sponge in front of his mouth. She swabbed it gently
and allowed him to spit into the plastic emesis bowl. He
pulled at her jacket and she responded to his attempt to get
his attention. She placed the bowl on the table and looked
down at her partner. " Mulder what's wrong?" she asked out
of concern of the change in his mood.
" I wan a dink of wawer." He pointed towards the empty
container sitting across the room.
She gave him an empathetic look and shook her head,
" Mulder, Dr. Harriman wants to perform a Barium Swallow
tomorrow before giving you fluids. He wants to make sure
that you won't aspirate anything down into your lungs. If
the test is fine then he will allow you to have clear
fluids with some thickit mixed with the water."
Mulder gave her a pouty look but she ignored it and moved
towards the sink to wet another sponge. She knew he was
angry at not having some control over the situation. When
she offered the sponge again he refused it so she lay it
down into the bowl and picked up her magazine and sat down
in the chair beside of his bed. After a few minutes she
looked up to see tears rolling down his cheeks. She
immediately responded by standing and grabbing some tissues
and wiping away the tears. "Hey I'm sorry Mulder." She felt
bad for her friend, she knew that he was having difficulty
with not having his independence, " Maybe Dr. Harriman can
order the test for today and we can get you off the tube
feedings, if you do well with the Barium swallow."
He nodded and turned his head as in deep thought. After a
few minutes he turned back and with a look of seriousness he
asked, " Scuwy, hav der ben anymor kiwins?"
The question took her by surprise and she responded in a
very matter of fact tone," Mulder you are not able to talk
about work yet. Your physicians would get upset at both of
us if I allowed it so just forget that little trick Mulder."
Mulder looked puzzled and then he repeated the question,
"Scuwy, pease. Hav der ben anymor kiwins?"
She thought about lying to her partner but knew better. She
could swear sometimes that he read minds. She walked over to
the foot of the bed and stood, giving herself some distance.
She thought for a second, biting at her lip. She knew that
she had to tell him the truth because he would not let it go
and his health would suffer. " There have been some similar
killings but we feel we are dealing with a copy cat killer.
The profile is different."
He looked at her with such an intensity that she had not
seen since the night of his injury," Wha is differen Scuwy?"
She decided not to answer anymore questions and cause her
partner concern. " Mulder it is just different. Okay? Leave
it alone, Skinner does not want you working until you are
better. Now that is an order, so obey it!" Her temper was
flaring. She was not going to allow Mulder to jeopardize his
health worrying over this case. She would drug him till he
was better if that is what it would take.
" I na a babe Scuwy. I wanna know and I wanna know now!" he
was getting upset at her avoidance of the question. His
voice was almost at a scream and he was looking at her with
a determination she had not seen for a long time. He would
not let go of the question. He needed and wanted the
She hesitated then spoke carefully to her sick but stubborn
friend, "Listen Mulder, when you get better I will
personally fill you in on the details but not until you have
healed. You are officially off the case and you will not ask
Mulder picked up the emesis bowl and threw it across the
room. It hit off the wall and fell to the floor. He then
cleared off the bedside table with a sweep of his arm. "Te
me Scuwy. I kno he is awive cos I her him las nigh. He wa
tewin me tha he was kiwin mor chilwen. I nee da sop him. I
nee to hewp the widdle chiwren. Pease Scuwy. Pease!" His
voice was pleading and his eyes were filled with tears.
His shouts were heard at the nurse's station and within
minutes the room was filled with nurse's and the internist.
They found a stand off between the two friends and the
wreckage of his room. Mulder was now trying to lift himself
up in bed with his good arm and leg. His hand was gripped
tightly on the rail and the monitors were ringing loudly.
His face was red and angry looking. His partner was standing
across the room not looking much better herself. The charge
nurse interrupted the fight and stepped inside her room
between them, " Mr. Mulder, please calm down."
He ignored her command and focused only on his partner now.
He stared at his partner with a steely eyed glare and he
would not allow the question to die. " Scuwy, pease. Is he
awive? His hand hit the rail of the bed, " Is he awive
dammi?" Tew me scuwy! Is he kiwin mor babes?"
The internist knew that he needed to end the stand off
before the patient suffered anymore setbacks in his health.
He got the attention of the nurse and told her in almost a
whisper to get Thorazine and restraints. She left the room
When the nurse reentered the room she had Dr. Harriman in
tow. The two partners were still giving hard stares at each
other and the monitors were still beeping wildly. Dr
Harriman took in the scene and in a loud and thunderous
voice yelled, " What the Hell is going on in here? You need
to be resting Mulder and Dr. Scully needs to be going back
to work." He turned to the internist and motioned him
forward, " What are you doing about this situation?"
" I've ordered the patient to have Thoarazine and I was
going to restrain him until he could calm down." He answered
as he took the syringe from the nurse.
" Let's do it then. I want him heavily sedated." He turned
back to the screams from his patient, whose blood pressure
and heartrate were way to high for a recent stroke patient.
" Dr. Scully can you get your things? Mulder I need you to
lay back down."
Scully started gathering her things but Mulder just got more
angry. " Te me Scuwy. Te me now! I nee to kno. Pease Scuwy,
pease!" he pleaded deperately.
The nurse escorted a teary eyed Scully out of the room,
leaving a very upset patient. Mulder seemed more upset after
she left the room. He knew he would not get his answers or
was her silence his answer. The killer was still alive and
he was killing more children. How could he have been so
wrong on his profile? He spotted the syringes in the doctors
hands and yelled to the crowd " Go way. No sho. I na wanna
go to seep. Go way."
Dr Harriman and the internist took opposite sides of the
bed. Mulder was still raised up in bed and hanging onto the
siderail with his right hand. He knew what they were going
to do next and he felt the panic rising up inside of him as
they approached his bed. He would try not to fight them but
the last thing he wanted to do was sleep. Dr Harrison and
the internist gently pulled him down into the bed and rolled
him onto his weak side. He felt them exposing his hip and
the cool swab was rubbing against sore skin. " No, pease
no!" he cried out to his physicians.
" Mulder calm down. We are going to give you something to
help relax you. You will feel better afterwards." Dr
Harriman tried to comfort his anxious patient.
Mulder knew what they were going to do next and the panic
took over and he reached back and grabbed the syringe with
" Mulder let go of the syringe." His voice was calm and
gentle now. He did not like seeing Mulder this upset.
Mulder continued to hold on to the syringe with a tighter
grip and he shook his head.
" Mulder you need a little down time. Your blood pressure is
elevated and your heart is racing. Dr Harriman was now
rubbing Mulder's shoulder trying to comfort his distressed
Mulder held the grip tighter, he did not want to sleep. He
wanted to talk to Scully about the killer of small children.
He needed some answers and he wanted a simple answer to his
question. The killer was alive and it was his fault that the
killings had continued. It was his profile that had led them
to the wrong man. He had killed the man who had shot the
small girl but he had not stopped the child killer. Were
they related? He needed time to think. He needed to able to
profile the man again, he needed the new information and the
how many more children had he killed. He wanted to talk to
Scully but all they wanted to do was drug him into an
oblivious state. " No seep. I need to tal to Scuwy. Now!
Pease!" he yelled out as loud as he could manage.
Dr Harriman looked down at his weak patient and wondered
what had given him the will to fight so hard. He also knew
that if he didn't stop the unnecessary stress that Mulder
could have a setback in his progress. He could not risk his
patient's health being jeopardized. He took the other
syringe and handed it to the internist and he quickly jabbed
the needle into Mulder's exposed hip, the thick liquid hurt
as it entered the tight muscle. Mulder's eyes welled with
tears and he knew that they were going to win the fight. He
let go of the hand that held the other syringe and again he
felt himself being turned and the other hip being exposed
and the cool swab rubbing against his skin. He tried to pull
away but the strong hands held tight. "Pease no mor. No mor,
pease." his voice was begging and he felt the sting of the
needle as it entered the skin and tight muscle. Mulder
moaned out loudly as the burning fluids entered, he could
feel the numbness of the drug setting in and the pull of
sleep. He did not want to go to sleep, he just wanted to
talk to his partner.
Dr Harriman tried again to soothe his upset patient, " It's
okay Mulder, just relax and go to sleep. Just relax and it
won't hurt so bad." He watched as the internist removed the
needle and again swabbed the sore skin. They repositioned
him to his weaker side and applied the hand and feet
restraints for his safety. Dr Harriman cleared the room and
sat down with his sleepy patient. The lights were dimmed and
the room became quiet. Mulder was still talking to himself
in low whispers. Chanting something about not catching the
right killer. Dr Harriman stayed until his patient was
sleeping the Thorazine sleep. He then left to find Dr.
Scully. He wanted some answers.